Divorce and how play therapy or parent coaching can help
Divorce and how play therapy or parent coaching can help
When parents make the decision to end their marriage, this is a pivotal moment in children’s lives. Though parents can struggle with feelings of guilt around how this can affect children, divorce can actually be an opportunity to strengthen relational understandings within children.
Read ahead for how to this period as a time of growth and reach out to Lindsey Hawley at hawley.healingarts@gmail.com for parent coaching and play therapy services.
First, it’s important to recognize that this is a difficult period for all involved. Each family member will go through their own grieving process.
Depending on the stage of development children are in, they can react to divorce in a myriad of ways and require different relational needs. For instance, younger children may need consistent physical presence of each parent, whereas an older child may need help processing that they did not cause the divorce in some way.
Some tips for divorce:
Remember that children come from both parents: Children can become confused by the rejection of one parent to another, and take it as a rejection of themselves. If you make disparaging comments towards the other parent, remember that this rejection can be internalized by a child. Do your absolute best to speak positively about the other parent in front of children to help them foster a positive self-concept.
Establish at least a neutral relationship with other parent: Sometimes your co-parent can do things that you do not agree with and it can be difficult not to criticise them in front of the children. Statements that can help to neutralize your position can be ‘Your [other parent] loves you very much and is taking care of you in the way that they know how.’ You don’t have to refute the fact that the parent is making a mistake, and you can certainly take the time to talk with your co-parent one-on-one, but prioritize the child’s relationship with that parent over putting them in the middle of conflict.
Show support for other partners: Children can struggle when their parents date by feeling that they need to be loyal to the other parent and reject the new partner. Co-parents can help the child to understand by demonstrating support for the parent dating again, thus not requiring the child to split themselves. A parent can remark ‘It’s okay for you to like your [other parents’] partner.’ A new partner can never replace the relationship of the other parent, and shouldn’t, but children need to feel safe within this new relationship dynamic.
(Institute of Child Psychology, https://instituteofchildpsychology.com/)
How can play therapy and parent coaching help?
Your play therapist can help guide you as parents in understanding your child’s developmental needs, as well as process your grief and create a culture of teamwork with your co-parent.
Children can receive extra support in the play therapy space by having a safe, neutral adult to process their experience with, allowing them to approach the difficult emotions divorce brings up from a safe psychological distance.
Reach out to Lindsey Hawley at hawley.healingarts@gmail.com now to book a free consultation
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