What are the different kinds of intimate partner violence?

If you or someone you love is experiencing concerning behavior from your partner and you’re unsure of whether it might constitute intimate partner violence, read on. By the end of this article you will have a better idea of the different kinds of intimate partner violence and the cycle that it tends to go through. 

Intimate partner violence cycle

Many professionals who work with survivors of domestic abuse will talk about the typical cycle of domestic abuse. 

Maybe you’ve known a cycle specific to yours or your loved ones relationship in which things seem amazing for a while and then somehow escalate to abusive behaviors. This can often look like a period of tension, followed by an explosive reaction of some kind, followed by that honeymoon period that makes survivors second guess ending the relationship or leaving. 

This cycle can look different in yours or your loved one's relationship, however. Keep an eye out for extreme fluctuations and be aware of the cycle specific to the relationship. 

Physical

This might be the kind of abuse you think of right away when you hear domestic violence, and it is certainly one form of abuse. Any physical action which makes a person feel unsafe falls in this category. This can range from punching to invading your space to driving recklessly with you in the car. 

Sexual

Within the context of a relationship, sex can be used to gain power over another person. Due to emotional and cultural implications around sex, survivors can find themselves being criticized by their partner or assigned a certain value around the sexual act. 

It is never okay to be forced into a sexual act without consent.

Psychological/Mental

 You might’ve heard of the term gaslighting before reading this post, a term referring to when someone manipulates you into doubting what you believe about reality. This is often seen in the context of abusive relationships. One example could be the abuser making a promise to the survivor, not following through, and then claiming that they never said that promise to begin with. Overtime, psychological abuse like this can erode a person’s confidence. 

Financial/Economic

Financial/economic abuse can look like an abuser insisting on controlling all the finances in the house, not allowing a survivor to get a job, or using the survivors' credit to the point of ruining their credit score, preventing them from being able to be self-sufficient. 

Verbal/Emotional

The words an abuser uses to undermine a survivor’s self-esteem can wear down a person’s sense of self and emotional wellbeing overtime. These emotional wounds can be harder to spot but can be just as detrimental as other forms of abuse. 

Cultural/Identity

For minority groups, this type of abuse might come in the form of an abuser withholding documents to help them in their pursuit of a visa. Abusers might also threaten to disclose parts of their identity, such as their sexuality or gender identification, before they are ready to do so. Abusers might also prevent the survivor from observing their faith or spiritual practices. 

Get Help

If you or someone you love is experiencing IPV, you are not alone. Resources are listed below. 

My private practice is tailored for survivors and their families. If you feel you need someone to talk to, you can reach out for an initial phone to discuss having sessions together. 

Resources:

Ontario wide: dial tel:211, or toll free: tel:+18773303213

Quebec wide SOS Helpline: 1 800 363-9010

Kawartha Lakes crisis line: 705 878 3662

Haliburton Highlands crisis line: 705 286 6442